So I haven't updating this for five years and two days. Kind of easy to count when the date you were last here was so close to the current date. 

Now, do I have an excuse? Perhaps. A good one? For me, yes. Is it acceptable? Now, it's up to people, isn't it?

I'm working now. Life is crazy, but I'm pushing through. There are times when I just want to stay at home and surrounded by books and sleep, but mostly I'm enjoying what I'm doing now. I'm teaching, and while some says that I can do better, I can't imagine being elsewhere.

Really, it's true. Though I do wish to run from responsibilities sometimes.  But that's what people do, right?

People move on. A few still include me in their fast-paced life, others not so much. That's what you do when you're taking responsibilities. You could not help it. 

I'm content with my life. Perhaps soon I'm going to push it faster, but for now, I'm quite fine to be where I am now. Quite. 

Why am I updating now? Maybe I want to change something after all.

I am not the type to get sick easily. I can actually count how many times I went to a doctor on one hand for the last few years. But that's not mean I'm invincible either. I guess I'm somewhere in between. Headaches usually come and go just like that, without me needing to take a medicine and extra rest.

But, once I do get sick, it was such a pain. I don't know how other people when they are sick, but when I'm sick, that means total bed rest. I can't do anything, think of anything, care about anything.  And when I'm sick, they all came at the same time: flu, cough and occasionally fever.

It always starts with sore throat, and it starts as random as when I woke up in the morning. By the time night comes, I usually will have a flu as well. Among all three, flu is the one sickness I hate the most. It comes early, and always leave the last. I hate running and blocked nose. It makes me feel stupid (with all the sniffing), hard to breathe and unable to eat and drink without choking (Well, when you have a blocked nose, you will have to breathe through your mouth, so, yeah.)

Fever sometimes comes, and sometimes not. I somehow think it depends on how my body was feeling at the moment. Amazingly, with all the coughing-and-flu incidents that I have in my 21 years of living, fever seldom get in the way.

The last time I got a high fever when only a couple of years ago. It was during the one-month holiday of my first year in IPBA. It took me three days to actually get out of bed, with me drifting in and out of consciousness and throwing up everything that I have eaten. I was really helpless at the time, and my parents had to be there for me all the time. And let's not mention about the next two weeks of flu and sore throat. My break was actually wasted with sickness. 

That's why I don't understand people who like to get sick. When I told a few friends that I won't be going to the practicum because I was sick, one of them was like, 'Wow, nice!' What's so nice about feeling sick? It is because I got an MC and I don't have to go to school?

Well, I just prefer to think that they don't suffer as much as I do when they're feeling sick.
 

Dreams are always seem... frustrating for me. No, not dreams as in hopes, wishes, etc,etc. Dreams that we sometimes have when we sleep. You know what I mean.

I'm one of those people who rarely remember their dreams. It's good for me, since all the dreams that I remembered only frustrated me. Yes, they're good dreams, but don't taunt me for something I don't have! Like, last night, I dreamed of buying something that I wanted to have for so long. While I was giggling happily, I woke up and could not help but said, "Huh, where am I? Don't tell me that's a dream. D<". Then reality checks in; I don't have the money, so how the hell I managed to buy that thing in the first place? *headdesks*

A friend said to me dreams are good for us, for that shows us that we want something (I think it's one of my old friends), but I was like, "Uh huh... only to frustrate you, because you don't actually have it in real life." She was like, blinked at me. Was it that weird to dislike having dreams?

Another kind of dreams that I usually remembered are nightmares. Got into accidents, parents got killed, strangled by someone, family abandoned me, you name it. It's either I don't remember it or when I did, it freaked me out to no ends. It happened once when I was back home. A stranger got into the house and killed everyone in it except me. Imagine how I feel when I woke up? It was the very same house, at night and I was sleeping alone; parents in their room and my siblings shared a room. I cried myself to sleep that night.

And a few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night having aches all over my body. Apparently my body remembered something that my mind didn't; my dream.

People said dream is the place you go to when you run away from reality, but if this is the case, I will definitely prefer solid ground where I know everything is real, thanks.